Zosia Mamet

Have you guys been reading Zosia Mamet’s columns in Glamour? She is amazing. I especially loved her recent piece, Zosia Mamet on Why She Won’t Lean In, Thanks. She wrote about the importance of defining success on your own terms and having the confidence to pursue your definition of success. It is easy to feel pressured by other people’s expectations and definitions of success but, at the end of the day, it is better to do what will make you happy. She also wrote about the importance of being supportive and accepting of other people’s decisions. Just because someone has a different definition of success, it doesn’t mean that their definition is wrong or less valid.

zosia-mamet-glamour-column-1-w724

Here are a few of my favorite points from her column:

  • “We are so obsessed with ‘making it’ these days we’ve lost sight of what it means to be successful on our own terms. As women we have internalized the idea that every morning we wake up, we have to go for the f–king gold. You can’t just jog; you have to run a triathlon. Having a cup of coffee, reading the paper, and heading to work isn’t enough—that’s settling, that’s giving in, that’s letting them win. You have to wake up, have a cup of coffee, conquer France, bake a perfect cake, take a boxing class, and figure out how you are going to get that corner office or become district supervisor, while also looking damn sexy—but not too sexy, because cleavage is degrading—all before lunchtime. Who in her right mind would want to do that? And who would even be able to?”
  • “I think, unfortunately, some of our need to succeed professionally is a by-product of a good thing: feminism. Feminism was meant to empower us as women, to build us up for fighting on male-dominated battlefields. It did that, but it did some other things as well. It gave us female role models like Hillary and Oprah and Beyoncé and in the process implied that mogul-hood should be every woman’s goal. We kept the old male ideas of success: power and money. We need new ones!”
  • “I hate that we look at women who choose not to run a country as having given up. I get angry that, when a woman decides to hold off on gunning for a promotion because she wants to have a baby, other women whisper that ‘she’s throwing away her potential.’ That is when we’re not supporting our own. Who are we to put such a limited definition on success? The Merriam-Webster dictionary says success is ‘the correct or desired result of an attempt.’ But you get to decide what you attempt. If you get off running a global hair care empire, more power to you, but if working as a hairdresser somewhere within that empire brings you joy, then that should be just as admirable. You shouldn’t feel like you’re letting down the team.
  • “The solution, I think, is to ask ourselves what we actually want—each of us personally—and stop putting so much pressure on one another. Success isn’t about winning everything; it’s about achieving your dream, be that teaching middle school or flying jets. And no matter what we as individual women want, no matter what our goals, we have to support one another. Because I might actually open a café in Vermont—just a small one, where I make the muffins myself—and I hope you ladies don’t think me any less of a woman for it.”

P.S. You should also read her piece about accepting your flaws!

Zosia Mamet

Tech Talk: Kitestring

Have you heard of Kitestring? I first heard about it when I went to dinner with a friend. She told me that she had gotten a text from her younger sister saying something along the lines of, “I’m okay, but I am trying out Kitestring. I just wanted to let you know.” My friend panicked a bit wondering if Kitestring was a new drug, or whether her sister was trying to do something dangerous with a kite (I’m thinking of you, Benjamin Franklin). It ends up Kitestring is neither.

Oh You Girls Keep Me Young

I have been telling all of my friends about Kitestring. Kitestring is a web-based service that makes sure that you get home safely. If you’re like me you’ve been on a blind date or walked home too late at night. Luckily, I’ve always had roommates and friends that are looking out for me. My current roommate and I text one another before bed to check-in if one of us is still out. I did the same thing all throughout college. I also always tell someone where I am going and when I expect to be back. The problem is that this isn’t foolproof. You may be fine when your roommate goes to sleep but not okay later on in the night. Kitestring was invented by Stephan Boyer, a 23 year old MIT student, shortly after his girlfriend asked him to stay on the phone with her because she was walking in an unsafe neighborhood late at night. He realized that every form of alerting people in a crisis required the person to act – for example blowing a whistle, using Mace, or calling the police. According to the website, Kitestring is, “a safe call service” you start a trip on Kitestring by going on the site or text messaging the number and they will text you to make sure that you’re okay. You tell Kitestring when you expect to be home and they’ll text you at that time to make sure that you are okay. If you reply to the message or check in online within five minutes nothing happens. If you don’t check in they will alert a list of emergence contacts that you’ve programmed. You can extend your estimated time of arrival or check in early. Stephan really thought of everything, for example, you can set a secret check-in word so that someone can’t check-in for you. You can also type in duress to immediately send a message to all of your emergency contacts. I recommend that everyone set up an account.

step-1
step-2
step-3

I used Elle & Kitestring for research!